If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.

Let’s just keep this short and sweet…just like a typical British summer.

What a week, what a month, what a fucking year.

I've got one week to payday, and I need to sort my life out. My savings is going strong, but I am about to give my car a service and we all know that is about to screw me over; mainly because I do not really have the best of luck, and I do like to ignore my car when it starts to make weird noises. I just turn my radio up and pretend I do not hear a thing. I know. I'm a fucking idiot. Plus, I have had a leak in the roof now, for far too long, and I wonder why my electrics are playing up.

I would like to say I am getting more organised these days, but that would be a lie. I cannot stop procrastinating and getting distracted by unimportant things. I know what I need to do...but I just don't do it. I seem to enjoy napping my feelings away and being inefficient.

There is one thing I am starting to get on track of more and that is my apprenticeship. I'm actually putting the work in. Learning all sorts about my team and me. I'm also having my working from home day, once a week. I am doing it through work, so this a good and agreed thing. I'm not being naughty.

I am really enjoying it. Even though a lot of it is going over my head at the minute. The idea of learning new things is part of my nature. Just got to find that focus.

I wish I felt like this back in school, I would have done things so much differently.

Once I have completed it, I'm going to look at some open university courses around psychology, wellbeing and mental health. I talk about these things a lot but do I have all the answers and knowledge I really want. Short answer: hell no!

I’m just so captivated by how the human brain works.

I love learning about human history and how we have trained our brains to do the most intriguing things.

I am still enjoying "The Highly Sensitive Persons Guide to Dealing with Toxic People" by Shahida Arabi, MA, and I can't deal with how much it is blowing my mind.

I am just so annoyed that I cannot inspire myself to pick it up more often. That goes back to my annoying distracting patterns. It's not even a long book. I have no excuse really.

Currently, personality disorders and behaviours have really caught my attention. I believe my obsession with true crime has turned me down this path. I kind of love that everyone is a bit fucked up and a bit crazy. At least we're not alone.

I've been detoxifying my life again too. Trying to stay away from unneeded drama.

I've become such a negative person over the last year. Turning towards revenge instead of forgiveness.

Turning toward hate instead of love.

Turning down a dark unneeded path I do not want to enter.

I'm so fed up with moaning about life. When it's not actually that bad at the moment. I'm actually really fucking happy. I have got some top people in my life that pull me up for my shit. That stops me from falling into myself, that point out when I'm being a fucking idiot. I really need to start listening to them more.

Yeah, my trust issues can get the better of me, as in my trust for the wrong fucking people all the time.

For someone that can be so clued up on manipulation, I sure as hell fall for it a lot. I'm just fucking over it.

I have this habit of always looking for something better and trying to fix things I just need to stay away from.

It is not my job to protect everyone. I'm not here to fix the world. I'm here to care and love for me and my kind.

I have three goals at the moment.

1) My savings. Get that shit under control and nice and chunky for my future.

2) Educate myself. Again, for my future and myself.

3) My fitness! I need to get back into exercising and looking after myself. My mental health and wellbeing were doing so good when I was working out. Now I just feel chubby and annoyed all the time.

Time to get my planner back out. Time to get my schedule going, and time to get organised and motivated!

I have got this!

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