I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars.

I've done it, the website that I have been going on for, what seems like a year, is finally up and running. No one can say I don't achieve my goals. It might just take me longer than planned, but I will get there in the end.

I've been back and forth trying to write this blog for weeks now. Writers block is real ya'll, and my main problem is I've been trying to write it with a flare of positivity, but all that keeps flowing is pure and utter...crap. 2020 was a fun year right!? It really has brought out the best in us... just want to clarify, is my sarcasm clear?

I have done nothing...

But I decided to just “bleh” out something anyway...so let's just sum up the year so far, Christmas is over! The New year is complete. Welcome to 2021. To stay on perfect track of my life, let’s just say it has not got off to a great start! Fuck COVID you slimy beast. #isolation

Thank you, 3 Doors Down and Lewis Capaldi for getting me through the last couple of weeks! How I Met Your Mother also, true to my Binge Queen ways! 9 seasons in a week and a half...woah super proud...(oops there's that sarcasm again).

As stated 2020 wasn’t the best year for a lot of us, a lot worse for some obviously, and I’m confident in saying, we are all pretty glad it's over.

Are we heading into a better one? I personally don't think so. Same shit, different year I say. However, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. It's a long arse fucking tunnel, but it's there.

This year, it has brought the pure and utter ugliness out of people, and it has shown me how selfish the world can be, and I'm saddened by this fact, but not shocked.

You know, we could sit here and dispute all day about the COVID argument of life, but there is really no point. Everyone is a sheep following their own shepherd, for every argument and every debate on this planet. I'm not about to lose friends over an opinion to a topic none of us really have any of the answers to. I too have been known to toss back and forth on the fence, but I am at the point where I am pretty much willing to try anything. Extra limbs and all.

The upside to last weekend however was that I woke up and realised that I needed to stop feeling guilty. No scratch that, I've got to stop allowing people to make me feel guilty for the utter bullcrap that is their life.

It truly is sad after years people are still being lied too, with excuse after excuse. It sucks, but I'm done pitying the weak; and by weak, I mean the kind of people that have to spend their time putting others down because they can't deal with their own insecurities.

We're all fighting our own battles, there is no need to take our Wars to anyone else's front doors.

It is no one’s job to be a punching bag to those who can't fight and defend themselves. If people want the life they've been promised. Fucking fight for it, or just walk away because you are making us all look bad, and by us, I mean woman...damn people the stereotypes are becoming way too real. Stop putting each other down for the attention of men! Guess what, they'll sleep with you either way, and they might even have a little bit more respect for you too.

It's safe to say, never, ever, trust what is on the surface and people do change. A lot it seems. Or they've always been arseholes and I was just too naive to notice it.

The "be kind" in the world hasn't stopped anyone.

Why does it all have to be so political.

Talking about political. Damn America your racist is showing!

...SOOO yeah, a big fuck it to life. It is way too short for all this playground bullshit anyway. Surely this year has shown us that.

This year’s resolution if you will, is me; trying to bring a massive amount of positivity back into my existence, because recently it’s been so hard to not get sucked into all the fucking shit in the world and in my life. Hence my little hiatus for all thing’s social media for a while. These days I can't work out if I'm ill, depressed, bored or all three.

Chip, chip, chip.

There is only so much of my soul and will left, and I'm pretty much ready to blow, resulting in chaos and destruction.

Simply put, actions have consequences…but I’m officially over it! People seriously need to start checking themselves.

I am not a victim, and I can promise you, neither is anyone else in this story.

The world is so fucked up at the moment and for my own sanity I need to stop living in it and focus on me and my kind. I’m just done with all the lies and fake promises. We no longer have to act like we believe in them.

Everywhere we look it's more bad news piled on more bad news.

We need to start looking for the good again, no matter how small it is. Focus on it, manifest it.

So, fresh start is needed if you will, and I’m ready to reach for that instead. With a flick of the hair, a new sassy attitude.

Currently Clone Wars is filling my ears as I type this, and while I know I should be concentrating on each episode...I’m sorry to say, it’s still a cartoon at the end of the day. But I’ve been told there is some brilliant plot points I just need to know, so I’m just going to turn my attention back to it, when I think it adds to the overall story. I’ve also just finished watching Humans…which if it weren’t cancelled, I think it could have been epic, but it has made me want to rewatch Battlestar Galactica. I've found it on Amazon, but not on Prime. The cheek, I'm pretty sure I have the box sets around here somewhere...Woop, it sounds like it’s another declutter time again!

Also, shout out to My Favourite Murder Podcast! I don't think I could have survived lockdown without it. Thank you, Steph, this show is beyond incredible and perfectly needed as I get ready for the day and before I fall into a slumber. Yes, that’s right, I start and end my day with this brilliant show. If you need a bit of true crime and comedy in your life, this is for you. It’s also therapeutic. Yes, you heard me right. Just listen to a couple of episodes and you’ll see what I mean.

Now let’s talk about The Sims 4 for moment, I am sadly so obsessed. Like I have spent way too many hours playing it since Christmas, it’s embarrassing…but I just can’t stop! Anyone else? Should I waste my money on the extension packs? I’m kind of hoping you all say yes!

Additionally, can I just say the amount of bath bombs I receive this year for Christmas was incredible! I literally have enough to last me two months, if not more! Which, a big shout out to Sophie for gifting me with a fucking enormous bag of them is needed! Thank you my lovely!

I get to float away all my troubles! You are a beautiful human, who spoiled me way too much this year! The weirdo necklaces for me and Steph too, were brilliant!

Of course, a new journal also came my way. Yes! My other one is chock full, and a fresh one for a fresh year is always necessary. Another one of my goals is to fill it with so much more love and happiness then I ever have before. I’ve turned it more into a scrap book these days. Lots of cutting, gluing and glitter is flying around my room right now, but again another thing to add to that therapeutic list.

So, I'm heading off to watch WandaVision now, because oh my! I'm so excited about this! Can Falcon and Winter Soldier hurry up too please, because March is too far away!!

So, do what makes you happy, that’s what I say.

Stop trying to fucking please everyone! Only support those who support you.

Stop being censored – speak the truth when and where you can. Don’t let others tell your story!

Don’t trust those who give you no reason to, who don’t apologise for their actions and who show no signs of changing.

Listen to your instincts. If it feels like a lie, it probably is.

Give and share your love with those who truly deserve it, because you should not be seeking anything less.

Peace and love to all.

You've got this!

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